Former England cricket star Andrew Flintoff has described his return to the sport as a coach as the “one thing that saved me” following the devastating 2022 crash during filming for BBC’s Top Gear. In a deeply emotional new Disney+ documentary released this week, the 47-year-old opens up for the first time about the physical and psychological toll of the incident, including months of isolation, intrusive memories, and the impact on his sense of self.
A Life-Changing Moment on Set
The crash occurred in December 2022 while Flintoff was filming a segment for Top Gear at Dunsfold Aerodrome in Surrey. Driving a three-wheeled, open-topped car during a stunt sequence, Flintoff lost control and the vehicle flipped. The consequences were severe: graphic facial injuries, multiple surgeries, and trauma that would haunt him for months to come.
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“I remember everything about it,” he recalls. “They were showing me how to get the car going sideways. The wheel came off at the front. It’s a funny thing, rolling a car—there’s a point of no return, and everything slows down. It’s so weird.”
In a harrowing account, Flintoff explains the instinctive split-second decision to face the ground as the car tumbled: “If I get hit on the side, I’m going to break my neck. If I get hit on the temple, I’m dead. My best chance is go face down. My biggest fear afterwards was that I didn’t think I had a face. I thought my face had come off. I was frightened to death.”
From Isolation to the Dressing Room
Following the accident, Flintoff retreated into isolation. For months, he refused to leave his home except for medical appointments. But in 2023, a lifeline appeared in the form of cricket. Initially taking part in a few England men’s team training sessions, he later became coach of England Lions and The Hundred team, Northern Superchargers.
“If one thing’s come out of it which is positive, it’s being back in cricket,” Flintoff says. “It’s probably the one thing that saved me. I’ve been welcomed back into that fold. It’s such a good place. I feel it’s safe. I have moments when I’m sat in a dressing room and I’m watching a game of cricket surrounded by cricketers and friends, and I’m able to forget.”
Mental Health Struggles and PTSD
The documentary reveals the profound psychological impact the crash had on Flintoff. “After the accident I didn’t think I had it in me to get through,” he admits. “Part of me thinks I should have been killed. Part of me thinks I wish I had died.”
Although he makes a clear distinction—“I didn’t want to kill myself”—he shares the overwhelming sense of emotional and physical exhaustion: “I was thinking: that would have been so much easier. Now I try to take the attitude, you know what, the sun will come up tomorrow, and my kids will still give me a hug.”
Even now, more than two years after the crash, the mental scars persist. “I still live it every day. Still in the car every night when I go to bed. And it’s so vivid. I’ve not slept the same since. It’s a movie in my head,” Flintoff says.
A Commoditised Life in Sport and TV
Flintoff draws stark parallels between his experiences in professional sport and television. “That’s TV and sport. I think that’s where it’s quite similar. You’re just a commodity. You’re just a piece of meat,” he says, recalling the pressures in both careers to push past pain for the sake of ratings or results.
His critique extends to Top Gear, which he suggests prioritized increasingly extreme stunts over presenter safety. “Everybody wants that thing that nobody’s seen before. Everybody wants the biggest stunt. Like: ‘Let’s have that near-miss because that’ll get viewers.’ Everything’s about viewers. Always.”
In 2023, Flintoff reached a reported £9 million settlement with BBC Studios over the incident. Later that year, the broadcaster announced that Top Gear had been cancelled.
Personal Reflections and Recovery
The documentary features emotional interviews with Flintoff’s wife Rachael, surgeon Jahrad Haq—who describes the cricketer’s injuries as among “the top five” he had seen in 20 years—and friends and colleagues including Rob Key, Ricky Ponting, James Corden, and Jack Whitehall.
The film also offers a retrospective on Flintoff’s career highs, such as his Ashes heroics in 2005 and 2009, and his battles with weight and alcohol—struggles that now intertwine with his efforts to heal after the accident.
“It’s such a good job. I don’t think I’ve smiled and laughed as much as this in a long time,” Flintoff says of his coaching role. “I’ve got to remind myself sometimes that I’m not one of the lads, because you just lose yourself in it all.”
But the evenings remain hard. “At night, I do go back to my room on my own, and I’m left with my own thoughts and my own feelings, and they don’t seem to be changing. I still have my nightmares. I don’t think I’m ever going to be better. I’m just different now. It’s just, let’s find somewhere where you sit quite comfortably. And I’m getting there, slowly.”
A Cautionary Tale and a Message of Hope
Andrew Flintoff’s story is one of vulnerability and resilience. It sheds light on the hidden consequences of high-performance environments—whether on the cricket pitch or on television—and underscores the need for better support systems for public figures facing trauma.
As his story reaches millions through the documentary, Flintoff’s candidness offers not only a glimpse into his private pain but also a message of hope for others battling psychological scars.
In the UK and Ireland, Samaritans can be contacted on 116 123. In Australia, Lifeline offers crisis support at 13 11 14. For a full list of international helplines, visit befrienders.org.
